Wynne hopes wizards can make debt disappear

Premier Kathleen Wynne is turning to a group of independent experts she believes can use big numbers to help solve Ontario’s $17 billion debt problem.

Wynne is confident the group of economic experts, which she has dubbed “the wizards” have all the knowledge necessary to fix things.

Sources say the panel of experts is also designed to send a political message to Progressive Conservative leader Tim Hudak.

“We want to send a direct message to the Progressive Conservatives,” declared Wynne. “Our wizards are more powerful than your wizards.”

When asked by one skeptic how our current system, which uses fractional reserve banking practices, could ever actually result in our national debt being paid off, Wynne replied “Have you even been to Wizard’s school? These men have fancy degrees and know all the number spells, they can do it all.”

All material produced by the panel of wizards, including documents, interim reports, and advice will become the property of the Minister of Finance.

These findings will most likely never be made public. Because the Minister of Finance holds the entire share capital issued by the Bank of Canada, he is considered by many to be the most powerful wizard in all of Canada.

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