Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has finally received the support of his mother.
After years of feeling embarrassed, Barbara Bush now thinks her lamest son is ready to make a real run for president.
“I always thought he was a dork. Even from when he was a little dorky kid. George was always the hot one, you know,” said the former first lady in a press conference. “But Jeb’s changed. Total president material. He smokes cigarettes now.”
The Bush matriarch has officially joined Jeb on his campaign trail in New Hampshire, trying to tell the world how cool her son has become.
“Look at his rolled up sleeves!” yelled Barbara to a crowd of people on the street.
Barbara’s new found enthusiasm has resulted in a whole new underwear set for Jeb – as well as a sweater that the lady at the store said all the cool boys were wearing.
While Barbara may see something great about her son, Governor Bush’s poll numbers remain just as forgettable as he his.
According to a recent national poll, Ted Cruz is the first choice at 24 percent with Donald Trump garnering 21 percent of the primary vote.
They’re followed by Marco Rubio at 12 per cent, John Kasich at 11 per cent, Ben Carson at 10 per cent, the ghost of Ronald Reagan at 10 per cent, a real life elephant at eight percent and then finally Jeb sitting with four per cent.
“I thought the elephant just had more personality,” said a voter from Iowa. “I related to it more.”
In the wake of Barbara’s involvement in Jeb’s campaign, her own poll numbers have suddenly increased. Jeb is somehow trailing his mother in South Carolina.